One Year

So, today’s my birthday.  It’s also a new anniversary.

One year ago, I treated myself to a long shower for my birthday.  Today, I did the same thing.

One year ago, I found a tumor next to my nipple.  Today I checked out the stretch marks on the incisions where my nipples used to be.

One year ago, I shaved my legs without hesitation.  Today, I shaved sitting down because chemo and other meds have caused my achy body to belie my 34 years.

One year ago, I shivered in a towel as I called my OB/GYN immediately after my shower.  Today, I lingered in my towel while I waited for a hot flash to pass.

One year ago, I put on a big sweatshirt to disguise my baby weight.  Today, I was able to find a forgiving top from my post-mastectomy wardrobe to hide my chemo/menopause weight.

One year ago, I cried in fear over the lump in my breast.  Today, my tears fell frequently in order to express a surprising number of emotions – – the most important of those being gratitude.

Because even though my body holds many scars from the past year, I am in awe of what it has accomplished.  I am grateful for every day that I can spend in this broken, scarred, prematurely-aging body of mine.  Every.  Single.  Day