Beating Breast Cancer – Weekly Update #12

I’ve had to mentally prepare myself for this post.  I’ve taken a few deep breaths and even colored in one of those adult “bring me zen” coloring books before popping open my laptop tonight.  I’m going to keep things real with you, but I really don’t want to come across as too negative.  So here we go…

Cancer is a DRAG!

This has definitely been the hardest week that I have had in my cancer treatment.  What’s hard is that there’s nothing tangible to blame, like switching treatments or coming down with the flu.  It’s just been a LLLOONNGGG, hard week.

I had my third AC chemotherapy treatment this past Monday.  Since it was spring break, I asked the staff if The Professor and Mini-Me could come check out the cancer center while I was there.  So after I had my labs done and my pre-chemo check-up with the nurse practitioner, I got hooked up to my pre-meds and waited for the kiddos to arrive.  The staff at the cancer center are so wonderful – – the kids got the royal treatment and were super excited to have juice and snacks with me while I had my treatment.  I think they were surprised to see how uneventful chemo is; I literally just sit in a La-Z-Boy with an IV going into my port.  But I am so glad we were able to arrange this visit because now they have a frame of reference when we talk about chemo.

A quick sidenote:  I was so preoccupied by getting the kids ready to go to the cancer center before my appointment that I totally forgot to use my Lidocaine cream on my port.  So now I know what it feels like to have the needle go straight into the port without numbing.  It’s really not bad, but I will definitely remember the cream from now on.

After the chemo drugs were administered, I had my second Zoladex shot (the one that puts my ovaries to sleep).  I have been having noticeable hot flashes this past week, so that’s lovely.  Then on Tuesday I went back up to the cancer center for my shot of Neulasta.  I joked with the nurse that we should have a moment of silence before the shot is administered, now that I know how crazy expensive it is!

The nausea this week has been predictable, but everything just has an edge to it.  Maybe it is just the fact that I am SO TIRED of cancer treatment!  Or maybe it was the fact that my poor kids had to spend their spring break at home with a sick mom.  Or maybe it’s the fact that I miss eating; I really miss being able to sit down and eat, without any thought about whether or not my taste buds will like it or not. Or maybe it’s the fact that chemo time is in its own crazy time zone.  I know I’ve said it before, but time just CRAWLS on chemo weeks.  It’s absolutely insane. But anyway, I’m not sure what made this week so rough but it was definitely a tough one.

There were definite bright spots to my week, like wedding dress shopping with my soon-to-be sister-in-law.  Visits from friends.  Spending some time in the sunshine with my kids. Watching the Professor play baseball. Listening to general conference messages from our church leaders. Reading the same part of a book over and over because it makes Ladybug laugh.  Taking the kids to the library.

Ultimately, those “bright spots” can be summed up in one word.  Time.  I had time with my family this week.  I had time with my friends this week.  I had time to reflect.  I had time to laugh.  I remember when I first found out I had cancer, but I didn’t know anything about my prognosis.  It was a super scary time when I would get these waves of panic; all I wanted was more TIME but I felt like it was being taken from me.  Now I have been gifted more time and I know that (in addition to God’s ultimate plan for my life), the dreaded chemo plays a necessary role in that gift of time.

So bring it on, AC.  We have one more round together and then I’m moving on.

Keep Reading —> Weekly Update #13 (April 10, 2017) {Battling a Cold, Plastic Surgeon}